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Is he hitting her?

I'm really concerned that a friend of mine is being abused by her husband. She has become really closed off and quite and she is wearing baggy jumpers on hot days. It's a bit odd. The other day I went to hold her arm and she winced and I asked what was wrong and she said leave it and and walked off. Her husband is a bit of a drunk and I don't know what to do.



  • ShirleyG
  • @2014-02-07 17:33:40
  • United Kingdom
  • Age: 62
Hi, it sounds like you're a good friend, which is what she need at the moment. Don't try and push her into leaving him and opening up to you because if she is a victim of domestic abuse she might cut you out. 

Try and get her out of the house with an activity her husband approves of (bingo maybe?) She's more likely to share whats happening at home away from it. 

Be there for her and tell her you're worried but you won't push her, you're there for her and ready to listen if she wants to talk.

  • AnnieB73
  • @2014-02-07 17:43:44
  • United States
  • Age: 48
My sister was acting like your friend and it turned out her husband was being violent with her. It was an awful time for the family because she refused to leave him and kept blaming herself and defending him, it went on for years, he even broke her arm. But the final straw came when he hit her little boy (from a previous relationship). Finally she realised enough was enough and came to live with me until she got a place for her and her little boy. She is back to how she used to be again and cut him out of her life completely.

Unfortunately sometimes the victim takes a long time to see the bigger picture but you just have to be there ready to pick up the pieces and help her move on.
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