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My son is devastated since his dad left us

My 10 yr old son is finding it incredibly hard to cope since my husband left us 5 months ago. I found out that he had been having an affair at work and after denying it several times, eventually he had to come clean. It's left us all totally broken hearted. I had no idea until this woman turned up at the house to tell me what had been going on. At first he said she was a Psycho! and Deranged! But I decided to phone his work and speak to her, she seemed very normal, she said they had been seeing each other for 6 months and he told her he wasn't happy with me and wanted to leave but felt guilty. Eventually after many broken promises she had enough and thought I should know what my husband had been up to. She said she doesn't want him now, so he's living in a bedsit and calling me constantly to ask for me back. Telling me what a mistake it was. But I can't forgive him, I hate him, but what I hate most is what's it's done to my youngest son. He crying all the time, he won't eat, he doesn't want to play sports anymore, he won't play out with his friends. He just stares blindly into the TV with a jumper of his dads that he sleeps with and cuddles. The poor little thing is absolutely beside himself. I don't know what I can do to make it better. If anyone has been through anything similar please give me some much needed advice.
Thank you 


dads crying work husband son

  • Mansview
  • @2014-06-03 09:20:50
  • United States
  • Age: 35
I'm so sorry to hear you're going through this. The only thing that's ultimately going to get him through is time. That and seeing his dad. Can he spend weekends with his dad at all ?
  • MumtoSam
  • @2014-06-03 09:37:57
  • United States
  • Age: 38
This is so sad, I'm guessing they were really close? What about having his dad come over a couple of nights a week, so you can go out, see some friends, hit the town, or go shopping. Just so his dad can say goodnight to him and watch tv or play sports with him. He's missing that time with his dad. It's awful when people break up because they don't want to see each other but the parent and child still have a close bond and they have no say in anything. 
Let him be sad, let him cry, let him be angry if he wants to be. He didn't cause this and he probably feels a sense of injustice. He might also feel conflicted that the person he loves and looks up to hurt you so much, but he can't help loving and missing his dad. But make sure you let him see his dad as much as possible. I know you hate him, but don't punish your son. Too many parents do this and it's really not right. Good luck. xx
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