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  1. tweens-and-teens
  2. pregnancy
  3. my-15-year-old-teenage-daughter-is-pregnant

My 15 year old teenage daughter is pregnant!

Hi 
I'm hoping someone out there can give me some much needed advice over what to do as I am in melt down over the fact that I have just found out my 15 year old daughter is pregnant. 

I don't know where I have gone so wrong as a parent, she has been a ticking time bomb for a couple of years now but this is a whole new ball game. Now there is another life involved. The father is a boy who she is at school with and about as much use as a chocolate tea pot by all accounts. I haven't spoken with his parents yet as I'm still coming to terms with the news myself. 

I'm not sure what to do about it, we did a test when she finally came clean and she's 17 weeks! Which is awful, as it's way past the point of termination in my eyes, the baby is a baby at 17 weeks. I just want to curl up and die but I know it's down to me to sort this situation out. Her dad and I divorced 5 years ago so there's only me as he went to live in the states and barely see the kids. 

I'm so upset, I have no idea what to do, I feel like everyone will judge me and think I’m a terrible mother with a pregnant teen. I can’t make her get an abortion at this stage as it would be far to traumatic, but having a baby now would ruin her life, she's right in the middle of her GCSE's and I'm in my 50's and don't think I could take on a baby.

Please help I’m going crazy!!


Tags:

baby mother abortion parents school father boy parent



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Wow ! What a nightmare, but remember if you're feeling a bit crazy over all this, imagine how your child feels, as that's all she is at the end of the day. Try and stay calm and you'll be able to think I a bit more clearer.

 

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  • Eviesnan
  • @2014-02-03 14:29:42
  • United Kingdom
  • Age: 70
Hi, I would echo what Hounslowmum says. I can't say I would feel calm either, but that's unfortunately what you have to do, as your daughter is probably terrified.

It's an awful situation to be in. I know it's probably difficult but you need to let her know you're there for her right now so she doesn't feel alone. I don't envy you at all. I would also suggest that you go to the doctor asap, speak to your ex ( her father) and talk to the school and the parents of the boy. 

Most importantly though talk to your daughter about the pros and cons of having a baby, I'm not sure what else to say. 

Whatever happens happens so just try to keep calm and be there for your daughter, she's going to need you know more than ever.

Good luck! 

 

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Hi ShirleyG 

It sounds like a really difficult time for you. One of my daughters became pregnant at 17 which at the time seemed so young so I can sort of relate, but 15 is very young. Anyway what's done is done.  You might want to check out these websites to help you and your daughter make an informed choice and to get a bit more advice.

http://gingerbread.org.uk  The gingerbread site tells you what she should be entitled to financially along with other helpful advice.
http://www.bestbeginnings.org.uk/ntpmn
http://www.bubbalicious.co.uk/

I wish you luck whatever decision she makes.






 

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  • Miranda83
  • @2014-02-03 14:49:50
  • United Kingdom
  • Age: 37
Hi,
I would also suggest speaking to the school as well to find out if targeted youth support can help you, as well as finding out how your daughter can carry on her education. Many colleges have creches these days which she may be able to use. It's not the end of the world if she has the baby, sometimes a tricky teen can make an amazing mum, it can often turn them around when a little person is solely reliant on them, it forces them to grow up and be responsible for their actions. 

Hope it all works out.

 

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  • ShirleyG
  • @2014-02-03 14:50:52
  • United Kingdom
  • Age: 60
Thank you for your comments and kind words, I'm slowly getting my head a bit straighter so we can work out what to do. 

 

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